Anxiety & Insomnia

Contrary to popular belief there are a few perks when you find yourself unemployed. You no longer have to set your alarm & dread it going off in the morning. Those Sunday night jitters that always come because you know your weekends coming to a close? Yup, those are gone. You can watch Rachael Ray everyday – because really what else are you going to do while you browse the web for jobs?

There is one little hiccup in all this free time you finally have that keeps you from fully enjoying yourself. It’s called an anxiety attack. At first you may not have them because you are still too in shock from the loss of employment & living in the land of denial. Time goes on though and soon you find yourself 4 months out of work and starting to really wonder if you are going to find another job. The pressure is on. People keep questioning you about your job hunting. “Have you gotten any phone calls or interviews? NO? Oh well, don’t worry it just takes time.” Sigh. Yeah it does take time…but will it happen before I’m out of benefits?

So this brings us to anxiety attacks. Panic is setting into the deep corners of my brain & making my body do funny things. Pounding heart for example. Feels like its going to jump right out of my chest sometimes. Tingling arms? Check. First time I actually thought I was having a heart attack. Oh and here is the best part of the anxiety – it leads to insomnia. I love my sleep. I love my bed & the rest if provides me. My brain, however, has now decided it would like to work 24 hours a day and not take any time to rest. So I lay awake most nights now, dozing from time to time, thinking way too many thoughts for very early in the morning.  I do get to see quite a few TV shows & movies during this time (I wish I could say they were quality but we all know how late night television is).

I guess all I can really do is deal with the consequences of my bodies reactions to my current situation for the time being. I practice yoga roughly 4 times a week, which should help. I’m trying to meditate. And I figured by sharing all my fears with you maybe my brain will relax a little & decide to take a lunch break.

So be forewarned people that are unemployed – it may not be happening now but at some point your brain & body will turn against you. You will think you are dying. You will feel like your life has no purpose. But don’t worry…I’ll be there with you to guide you through it.



Vapiano’s Boston Review

So the hubby & I went and enjoyed the day in Boston yesterday. Started off by participating in the AIDS Walk Boston – what a great day for it & a great turn out! We personally raised $470 – not my goal but still good none the less. After the 6 mile walk we were slightly hungry & parched. I had heard of Vapiano’s on the TV show Phantom Gourmet so we decided to check it out.

The restaurant is located where the old Bennigans used to be down in the theatre district. They completely remodeled the place & it looks great! Clean, crisp, & modern. Inside there is a tree – which is a very cool look. They also have doors that open up to outdoor seating. Since it was 70 & sunny with a nice breeze we chose to sit outside. In New England you take it when you can get it. The tables were clean & surrounded by a border of plants which slightly separated you from the sidewalk – a very nice touch. If you go to Vapiano’s & its nice out I highly recommend you sit outside!

The restaurant concept is a little different. You are handed a menu & plastic credit card upon arrival. You then proceed to the station of what you would like to eat & order there from the chef. There is pizza, paninis, pasta, salads, & appetizers. One of the best things about this place is that all of the pasta is made fresh there, a key selling point for me when picking an Italian restaurant. You pick your pasta & what you would like on it. My husband got the chicken alfredo with fusilli pasta and I chose tagliatelle with pomodoro & mozzarella. We also ordered a bruschetta trio. You order, tap your card, and they send you on your way with a buzzer for when your food is ready.

You then proceed to the bar (if you are choosing to drink, and really why wouldn’t you be!). Same deal here – order, tap the card & the bartender provides you with your beverage of choice. We ordered a bottle of red and the bartender brought it out to us at our table, opened it and made sure it was to our liking. That was one of the best things about this restaurant – you don’t lack for staff service because it is somewhat of a self serve restaurant. Our bartender was so nice and we chit chatted with him for so long, that he actually went & got our food & delivered it to us! He went above and beyond my expectations as far as service.

The food – bellisimo!! So fresh & so good. The restaurant has fresh basil plants throughout it at each table that you can pick leaves off of for your dish. I can’t tell you how happy this made me & also how rare it is to come across!!!

The prices were reasonable too! Our total bill came to about $70 for the two pasta dishes, bruschetta, a bottle of wine, an additional glass of wine, and two mixed drinks. With tip we spent about $80. For what we got I thought that was reasonable.

Our entire experience – ambience, service, food & beverage – were all above my expectations. I was 100% satisfied with our dining experience and even though I live an hour away, I will definitely be returning! Check it out if you ever are in the area! You won’t be disappointed.


Hi world, its Chrissy. Nice to meet you.

If you’ve read my “about the runt” then you know I am currently lacking a full time job. Its not the first time (and with the economy the way it is, probably not the last either) that I have been without full time employment. But to give you a general idea of how used to this I am, let me give you a brief history:

In the past 11 years I have been laid off from four full time jobs. I have been laid off from one part time job. And I worked for one company that was going down the tubes and I bailed – I would have been laid off from that place too had I stayed. Good times.

I’m not going to lie – some of those times the unemployment was great. I had money coming in and a leisurely life. But then the reality always hits – I need to find employment. The difference this time is that I’m 34 – which may not seem old to some of you but to me I feel like I’m carrying a giant clock around thats ticking at the loudest decibel possible saying, “FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE!!”

So that leads me to where I am today. Married, educated, unemployed and trying to figure out what I want to do with my professional life. The only thing I’ve ever truly loved to do is write. I love writing. When I was in college I can remember waiting until the last minute & staying up all night typing a paper with music blaring in my ears. It was a rush to me – I loved it! And I might add, I always got good grades on those papers. It was just a talent I had – writing under pressure.

So right now I’m at the point in my life where my path seems to have different options. Do I go back to school for a Masters Degree in Journalism? Do I move to Boston or New York and try to find work there? (New York has always been a dream of mine…we’ll go into that another time). Or do I just look for another basic full time job to take and end up possibly miserable there, doing something I hate? (The latter is my least favorite option). Decisions, decisions. Looks like I’ve got some work to do…

Thanks for listening world & don’t worry this is only the beginning. Check back often for updates on my life and whatever I feel like writing about that day!